“I was scared of dentists and the dark. I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations.” – Riptide, Vance Joy
There’s this line of thinking that all too many women have fallen into at some time in their lives—a non-progressive ideology if we’re honest here—that other women are foes rather than friends. I was not immune to this thinking. I can clearly remember a drive with a college friend and his cool older friend who was basically our designated campus taxi driver during freshman year. Attempting to get some insight, the taxi driver asked about my girlfriends. I said I didn’t have many because girls are too much drama.
He responded with something that pretty much blew my mind at the time: “All girls say that.”
I didn’t want to be “all girls”. I was different! And I had seen enough drama in my 18 years of life that I felt I could pinpoint the source of it. Girls. Pretty girls in particular.
Pretty girls came with a whole set of baggage. They weren’t very intelligent, didn’t make wise choices when it came to mates and they carried a general sense of entitlement and disregard for us “different” girls.
I had seen this familiar archetype during high school and had gone on to college applying this reasoning to any girl I personally considered pretty or what was vocalized by the current of guys who spent a great deal of time wanting in on all that beauty.
Dramatics is a quality none of us are immune to.
Yet, us girls are framed as offenders. I viewed pretty girls in this class of their own to the point that I struggled to hold a productive conversation with one.
Time taught me that yeah, some people who happen to be easy on the eyes don’t always prove to be great people, but there’s no use in believing this to be true for all the beautiful people out there. One does not equal the other.
Chances are YOU are one of the beautiful people out there, but you’ve got to come to that realization. Also, here’s a secret: what I find beautiful is likely different than what you see. I’m not someone who believes in “leagues” There are no leagues to be in or out of. There are just people. Lovely in their own way and possessing qualities within that truly point to whether they are pretty.