“Baby, sometimes I’m so carefree with a joy that’s hard to hide.”
– Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood, Nina Simone
Communication can be a challenge when it comes to finding your voice in a big family. The youngest of my three siblings, Will, has managed to carve out his place in our family artfully. Witnessing the current dynamic between my brother and I, it’d be difficult to tell we had some intense fights growing up. As kids, we were a small girl and an even smaller boy constantly at odds. We found one another annoying for various reasons and declared war upon each other. A harmonious period did exist. During this time, one of our favorite activities was gathering all the stuffed toys we owned and acting out elaborate scenes.
Years progressed and all our differences were laid aside. Although we were on good terms, we were existing in our worlds, navigating the challenges of life as children who always felt a bit out of place in the sea of our peers. Having grown up under the same roof and experiencing life in such a similar manner was what ultimately connected my brother and I, four-year age difference and all.
Eventually, we got the whole effective communication thing down pat. These days, we exchange advice and words of encouragement as opposed to the angry words harshly spoken during our brother-sister battles. We’re listening to first drafts and giving our opinions on art we create. We’re chatting about our lives and hopes for the future. We’ve grown and so have our desires to be kind to one another and be better humans in general. This growth can be credited to time and the maturity it brought. Also, our faith. These traits play a large role in defining who we are.
Personally, one of the best parts of being an older sibling is watching my brother evolve into a talented young man with great potential to affect the world around him. I have the privilege of having some influence, even in the tiniest sliver, even if it takes the form of a listening ear, in how he views the world and his attitude towards all those that inhabit it. What a gift. My hope is that despite challenges of the past and those that may lay ahead, he remains full of joy. The kind that’s hard to hide.